Untitled - 7:12:25, 9.12 PM
===

[00:00:00] All right. Hey, Lana here. Been waiting a little over a month to do this because I've been contemplating how do I wanna do this, and I make sure that it's done in a way that is respectful to my former, my late. Podcast partner, as some of you may know Dave passed on June 9th. Now my birthday is the 10th and so he passed on the ninth.

And of course therefore I'll never forget the day that he passed. And David had a lot going on. He had some stress. I don't know what really caused this, and I didn't actually ask. I know a lot of people are like, what? Caused him to pass. And to be honest with you, I didn't ask. I feel like that's personal to his family and himself.

And in the end, I'm not sure that it really matters what it was. However it's possible he was dealing with some overnight meetings and [00:01:00] his schedule was upside down and some things like that. So it's possible stress may have caused some, just his, been not easy for him to handle.

Dave was 58, so anyway, we had been back and forth this year over the podcast because he had retired or had wanted to and then, if you go back and look, I think the February. Episode is, there's a lot of detail to what was going on. He decided to get involved in another company one more time and then retire.

I guess he got bored with retirement and decided he wanted to get into another, I. venture that just happened to be involving, European timeframes and things like that, just where he was up all night sleeping all day, which, if anybody's ever done that, especially in your fifties, that's, it's just, it's soul sucking to do anything where your entire schedule flips around.

So I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it, but. It was a very untimely [00:02:00] passing in the sense that nobody expected it and everybody's a little thrown by it. And to be honest with you, I'm still a little thrown by it. That's what's going on. I wanted to mention it and put together just like a small podcast of just like explaining what was going on.

Being that we've been silent for so long. And like I said, as there's a few of people that did listen to Dave that knew him personally in that already know the news. But I just really wasn't sure if everybody did. And I didn't wanna just leave it unsaid because I don't think that's really fair.

So Dave and I met in 2016 and before I moved, I was living in Rhode Island forever, and then family related. I ended up moving to Georgia at the end of 2014. Lived there almost two years, and then moved back up here. So I was living in Georgia at the time that Dave and I met, and Dave and I talked a whole lot online really.

And we, met in this silly group, I forget what it was. There [00:03:00] were a couple of no, there were a couple of guys from Massachusetts, I think, that were, they were trying to create a dating site at the time. And they had created a group for it. And it was I think a focus group or a test group where the people in the group would join the app and they would try to use it and, come back and explain what was working for them, what wasn't, so that they could tweak the bugs out of the program.

The app that I know of didn't actually take off. If it did, then they maybe changed the name and launched it at some later time, but he and I left that group at some point and we became friends. But then we grew, we joined a couple of other local groups in we kept in touch, but then we actually in person, met when I moved back here to Rhode Island.

And that's where I'm at now. And him being in Massachusetts and meeting somebody from Rhode Island that kind of fell through. He and I got together for coffee one day and that was how it started. Dave and I there's a few things I wanna mention about Dave. Him and I didn't always agree on [00:04:00] everything obviously, but we seemed to be able to look at the problem as a third party to whatever it was we were discussing, so we wouldn't necessarily be at each other's throats about anything so much as we would both describe or explain our side of something and respect that the other person had a different point of view without attacking that person, with the exception of being roasted because we roasted each other and it was more of a fun thing that we did.

But in all seriousness, we never attacked each other. We usually attacked the problem or the issue. And we just sometimes didn't agree on what it was we were talking about, but we decided that we would understand the other person's point of view and retain our point of view and then move on.

The other thing I had to say about Dave is that we met in a dating group. And so that was a context of the group we were in. [00:05:00] And the two of us really honestly we really built a good friendship. And I would say that Dave's probably one of the only guys in my life, and I apologize if you're a guy listening to this who was actually, not, I'm not saying that I don't have friends that are just friends, but like Dave never had any underlying agenda. He never had any, he never switched it up. There was no plot twisting to it. Like we really were genuinely friends and there was no, a lot of women deal with men that they're friends with that at some point something else comes up, you have to have a conversation about why aren't we dating? Why aren't we doing more than this? And Dave was really a good friend in the sense that he really just was a friend. And I didn't have to think about that. That was just something that was, it was just nice.

There's not that many out there like that. You know what I mean? Where you're just friends and that's it. And he talked about stuff going on in his life, and I talked about stuff going on in my life, and the fact that we [00:06:00] were friends of the opposite sex didn't affect our friendship.

So think about that, right? That's definitely possible. We knew that. We discussed it. We have a couple of early podcasts starting in 2022, I believe, in the beginning January, February of those of that year. We did a couple of two part podcasts on, friendship and dating or, understanding that the difference between a relationship and a friendship.

And of course you want both in one. If you ever end up with somebody, but you also want somebody that you can be friends with. That's not trying to project your friendship into some other thing, like they're actually genuinely interested in the friendship itself and with no other goal beyond that except to be friends.

Anyway that was one thing that, I appreciated about him and I'm sure the same thing, right? Where he appreciated that I didn't push him for anything else either. It was just what it was. The podcast has been a strange thing for me since Dave passed in the sense that it doesn't feel like Dave is [00:07:00] actually gone because we have such a large amount of recorded material.

And voicemails and emails and just things that, like we have over the years traded back and forth. And Dave and I were never living in the same area, so I did see Dave every day. I'd maybe talk to him once in a while. Towards the end we lost touch as frequently, but when we did get on the phone or when we did get into a podcast, we did talk for hours.

And it wasn't like anything changed. And so with the exception of the news of him passing and knowing that people have said that he's passed, it doesn't feel like Dave is actually gone because I can get in my car or I can throw on a podcast of ours at any point in time, and it really, there's so much that we discussed.

So if I ever wanna say, well gee, how would, what would Dave think of this? What would Dave think of that? What would Dave say about this? Honestly, believe there's probably a recorded discussion that covers just about anything. [00:08:00] So there were things that he expressed thoughts on or decided or Hey, this is where I stand on this.

This is where I stand on that, and it's so weird in this day and age, with technology, because 50 years ago when somebody passed, you maybe had a picture of them. You maybe had cards and letters, but you didn't really get to hear somebody's voice like you do now.

There's so much more that gets retained when somebody passes away now that it's like almost crazy. So it almost feels like he has not passed, at least because I don't see him as much as I'm sure his family and close friends do to them is very real. And day to day they're noticing it, but.

And then another thing I wanted to mention was that like I in the beginning was pissed off at Dave and Dave would understand this and probably laugh at it, but it's damnit, how dare you? We had a friendship and we had, he had things he wanted to do with his life.

I had things I wanted to do with my life and as friends, we wanted to be in and out of each other's lives going forward. And so it's like he just dipped out. [00:09:00] And I know in one of our podcasts we did have a conversation where we were arguing back and forth. And we were gonna be friends forever.

And then we made a joke about one of us has gotta be around to bury the other one. You know what I mean? Kind of thing. And he went on, oh nope. I'm gonna go first. So you had to take care of me. And I went back and forth with him saying, no, I have to go first. So you could, it was a joke which has taken a weird, strange turn now at this point.

But yeah, I was angry for a little bit, like just angry. I don't know. I guess everybody has a weird way of dealing with grief. And it's like you son of a bitch. I don't know. That was kind, my reaction to this. I did cry. I did get upset. And I still do. If I listen to our podcast, there's certain conversations that we've had that now take on a whole different meaning, and so I do get melancholy, or I do, I sometimes have to stop and remember that he passed because it doesn't honestly feel like it. I. Or [00:10:00] it's kinda like I expect somebody to call me someday and tell me this is a joke or it's a prank, or something like that. I know that's not the truth, but like sometimes you're just kinda this can't really be, can this really be we had several conversations about grief and about death, and going through the podcast, you are free to go ahead and do that and take what you want out of it. There are things though that he expressed about his own death, about deaths of his family and people that he's lost and things like that, that, we really got into some topics and got down to the, like brass tacks and really discussed in a lot of detail. A lot of different issues.

And so I know all about how he felt about it where he was in a religious sense about it, how did he feel about, about after he passed, how he wanted things to be and things like that? That's all in the podcast. It's crazy because if you go through it and listen enough you'll get a, an answer to just about any question you would have that Dave would, what would he say about [00:11:00] something you'd get it. 'cause he's. Pretty much explained just about everything. It's something like, it's something like a hundred hours of podcast. It's something like that. Obviously some of that is just me because there was a point in time where for a good year he really wasn't able to do some stuff.

But we had several podcasts that went beyond an hour, went beyond two hours sometimes, and I didn't, I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this podcast at this point. I am going to, to at some point sit down and go through the podcast and find some highlights and do a tribute show.

I didn't wanna think anybody to think I won't do that. It's just, it is going to be a lot 'cause there's so much stuff to go through. And not only that, not only the podcast that we had, but of course Dave had a ton of lives on Facebook and he had a ton of live stuff on YouTube. And anytime you wanna go watch anything of his, you could pretty much, see anything you're looking [00:12:00] for that he, decided at some point or other he wants sit down with his coffee and talk about something. There's a lot of that out there. It's really, it's a bittersweet, it's a bummer that David is gone, but it is bittersweet and a little bit of a gift that there's so much left behind to comb through, I just wanted to mention all of that, talk about all of that and just say something, I didn't wanna leave this whole issue up in the air and not address it. So I. And again, in a more recent time, I think it's a, I much, I would much rather have we had talked or gotten more podcasts in, over the 2024 year because it just, whatever, the more time we spent doing that, the more information we would've had, the better it would've been.

Life is what it is. And so now we get to sit and go, okay, how do we look at this? How do we, I'm sure everybody. Knows how this is, somebody passes especially on, a sudden thing like this. This wasn't like and believe me, knowing Dave [00:13:00] is the way that he was, Dave wouldn't have wanted to be sick for months in a hospital.

That wasn't his thing. So if he had to choose between being sick for a long time and everybody expecting him to pass away, or just going the rock star he was the whole, okay, I am going out in a blaze of glory. That's pretty much what he would've chosen. And so he basically went the way he would've wanted to go.

And that also gives me comfort in a strange way. But now we get to look at this whole thing. It's okay, what does this teach me? Obviously we don't stop and think about things. We do get caught up in our everyday lives and it would behoove us to, to stop and to remember that there are people around us that we should make sure we spend time with. And again, I can't say, oh man, I wish, I know that people that have known him for years and his family and all that, nobody wants him to be gone.

But. He really, Dave was one of those people that gave as much as he could give as he was [00:14:00] here. Dave's not gonna be one of those guys that didn't leave a mark that anybody's gonna say I don't know anything about him. That'll never happen. So he lives on, in digital form and all we can take from it is that, and I try to do this and I don't know if this helps anybody else, but I look at somebody's life as like it's mapped out.

So we are all gonna go when we go, and there's a determined date that we're all gonna go, and none of us knows when that is. So if I look at it like if Dave was going to pass away on June 9th, 2025, no matter what. Then I think he did a really good job of making sure that he left a legacy behind, he left information behind.

He did what he could to take care of the people around him, and he did what he could to make sure that he helped people if he could, or gave people information if he could, or, so if it was gonna happen anyway. 'cause like I said I have to go through this, I have to look at it this way.

Like this is the arc of the life, right? It. It was [00:15:00] gonna be what it was gonna be. And the only unfortunate thing is that none of us knew what that date was. I can't say that Dave didn't do everything he could while he was here, and so that's the way I'm going to respect and remember him, that's going to be the way that I tribute him, is to go through everything and say, and if you're on my Facebook or you know me, you're gonna see videos.

I haven't done it in the past week, but for in, for a week or two or three weeks there. I put up a video every so often of like a clip of Dave talking about something, because it was one of those things you got online and Dave was there talking about whatever. He had his coffee and he was running a live video.

I, I didn't always get a chance to sit and go through the video with him. A lot of times he did those things in while it was in the middle of a workday, so I couldn't participate so much, but I'd be able to go back and watch it later. But it was one of those things where, you'd tune in at nine or 10 in the morning and there'd be Dave with his coffee.

Talking about pontificating, I used to say that to him all the time. Why are we pontificating going on and on about something honesty or friendship or [00:16:00] relationships or whatever it was that in that particular moment that was bothering him based on something he had just dealt with or had somebody he had talked to about something.

And so I would say that, find those lives. Obviously listen to our podcast. It's a little bit different 'cause you don't really get to see Dave as much. During the podcast you really can only hear him. In the car driving around throw on one of the podcasts and just listen because it's like he never left when you do that.

And that's a good way to keep a piece of Dave in your life and yes, on a Saturday morning or a Sunday morning or a weekday morning, whatever it is, when you've got an hour to spare and you're just sitting, drinking your coffee and getting ready for your day, pop a live video in there and watch it.

You'll find some nuggets in there, some stuff that he says that, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's a bummer not just for the podcast, but obviously Dave and I were friends for a good 10 years, and it's still a little bit weird with him not around. I keep expecting at some point to get a text from him or, like I said, I didn't see him every day so it's just very [00:17:00] surreal for me where it feels like he's not really gone. Anyway may you rest in peace, Dave. We had a really good time for the 10 years that we knew each other and we got a lot of stuff down. We got a lot of files recorded. And so that's always good. That stuff will last forever.

And so anytime I feel like I want to hear some Dave I definitely have a bunch of it. And same goes for you, listen to these podcasts and make sure you know that you go through the history. We are up on YouTube as well. So whatever happens with this podcast, I'm gonna make sure that everything gets on YouTube, that there's a copy of everything.

There are also other podcasts that I have in the can that I've gotta finish with that don't involve Dave, that I've gotta get up and running. But his death was quite sudden and I had a couple of projects that I put aside once that happened because I was a little bit thrown by what was going on.

So those will eventually get up as well. But I don't, again, I'm not sure what we're gonna, I'm gonna do with this podcast at this point. Being that Dave is not part of it and the open of this podcast, has his voice so it's probably gonna be really weird [00:18:00] to hear, but don't take it that way. Take it. As Dave lives forever and his voice is gonna be everywhere and enjoy it. For friends and family and everybody that knew and loved Dave, condolences, and strength and comfort and everything that you could possibly, I don't know.

This is life, this is gonna get a lot more frequent and it's not fun, but how life is that people are gonna going to suddenly leave us, all through our life. But as we get older, it happens more. And it's not something you wanna deal with, but it is not something you have any control over.

How we deal with it, is the way we deal with it. I do want to come back, do a tribute, where I just put some of the highlights of things that we've said and he's said, for a podcast in the future. And I also want to maybe do a live where. I set a date and I just get a phone number a Zoom phone number up or something like that.

And I just invite people to come in and tell stories if that's what they wanna do. Now, I did mention that on my Facebook. If people don't want to do that's fine we don't have to. His Facebook [00:19:00] page now is a tribute to him, and you can go there and write what you need to write as far as that, and, in his obituary.

So that's all already happening. So I don't want to add to all of that if that's gonna be too much. So I'll see how that goes. So that may or may not happen, but I will get a tribute episode up at some point I will take little clips and stuff and put 'em together.

So enjoy your summer. I just didn't wanna leave you guys hanging. Have a great day. I'll talk to you soon. Rest in peace, Dave. Bye-bye.